
1. So, we need to get one thing straight. I'm not Dorothy Gale. I'm Nimmie Amee. People have confused us in the past, and it really irritates me! Where I come from--Oz, yeah, duh--Dorothy Gale is only about twelve years old, and has short blonde hair! Whereas my hair is long and chestnut brown, and I am very much an adult. We don't resemble each other in the least, and frankly, I rather resent it when people see photos of me with Nick and make comments like, "I had no idea that the Tin Man and Dorothy were a couple!" They're not. Nick's coupled with ME. Dorothy is JUST A LITTLE GIRL. The internet's full of perverts, I guess. On the other hand, I'm told that there was a movie made about Dorothy's first adventures in Oz, and that they cast some singing teenager to play Dorothy--pfft, Hollywood--and apparently it's that actress who resembles me, not the real Dorothy. All I have to say about that is, *I* have no trouble discerning reality from fiction, though the people in the "civilized" outside world don't seem to have a handle on it. And I'm from a country where fairies are real and animals can talk. Go figure.
2. I suppose I should talk about Nick next, since I mentioned him earlier, and he is my significant other. Nick Chopper, also known as the Tin Man, is the love of my life. And yes, I know that he's made of tin. I don't care. In fact, I rather like it. He doesn't need any meals cooked for him, he doesn't have any dirty laundry to wash or a messy bed to make, he doesn't get sweaty and smelly, and he doesn't pester me with questions about marriage or having children. Sounds like an ideal man to me. And he never asks for nookie when I'm not in the mood...well, actually, he never asks for nookie at all, which, I feel that, uh, well, anyway. Uh, where was I? Oh yes. Nick and I were engaged, but that broke off long ago (long story short: he rusted), and now we're both just content to be a couple without getting too serious about it. I'm not even sure that if we did get married, whether it would be recognized in any country outside of Oz, or Nick would even be considered a person outside of Oz. Hm. That's some food for thought. Not that I want to get married or anything. Um. Anyway, that second point is totally ridiculous--of course Nick is a person. He was a human being before he was turned into a tin man (and there's another VERY long story for you--I'll let Nick tell you someday, since he loves to tell that story over and over again anyway), so if anything, he's a kind of a magic-y, soul-transference-y version of a cyborg. I know, it's weird. Anyway, you all know about Nick getting a new heart from the Wizard of Oz, and he really is the kindest, gentlest, sweetest person I've never known. The thing is, though, he was given a kind heart from the Wizard, but not a loving heart, so while he is kind, gentle, and sweet to everyone he meets, he really has no feelings about the people he meets---everybody is treated with equal kindness, whether they're good or bad, whether they want it or not, or whether they even DESERVE it or not. Sometimes I think it's wonderful, but most of the time it drives me nuts...I don't know, maybe I'm just being meat-person-centric about it, but I sometimes wonder whether it's true kindness when you have no other alternative. Besides...well, I guess it bothers me because I feel like he treats me the same way he'd treat any other woman, and though he's a true gentleman--pratically a knight in shining armor, even though the armor is tin--I would like to feel like I'm special to him, more special than anybody else he knows, you know? *Sighs* That's probably the real reason why our relationship isn't going to get serious...he honestly can't get serious about anything...or anyone.
3. Aside from Nick, I've had another boyfriend, a soldier named Captain Fyter. (That's pronounced like "fighter" for those of you who can't speak Ozian.) I was also engaged to Fyter for a while, but, uh, you see, he's also made of tin, and, well. Let's just say that I tend to date men who aren't smart enough to come in out of the rain. Anyway, Fyter and I are on friendly terms now (and he's friends with Nick, which I guess should've surprised me, but really doesn't)...Fyter hasn't had his photo up on Flickr yet, as he's still serving in the Ozian army, but we have been corresponding by Flying Monkey Post and he wants to come visit me and Nick here in the outside countries someday. That should be fun...hopefully.
4. About marriage...I'm not opposed to marriage in general, and Nick and I did plan on getting married in the past, but here's the thing: After Nick aban--well, after Nick and I broke our engagement, and after Captain Fyter rus--uhm, after we stopped dating, I *was* married for a while, to a man called Chopfyt. And, uh, I don't really want to talk about that. Suffice it to say, I have no interest in getting married again. Not unless something extraordinary happens. And, like I said before, I'm from a country where fairies are real, so my standard for "extraordinary" is probably higher than most people's.
5. I grew up in the Munchkin country of Oz, and yes, I know I'm not a dwarf. You'd be surprised how many people say that to me, as if I hadn't realized what size my own body is. Sheesh. A lot of people in Munchkinland are little people, it's true, but there are average-sized people like me as well. Nick himself is a Munchkin. Not many people know that. I don't live in Oz anymore--now I live in the outside countries, in a town called Medfield in the United States. Nick and a few other Ozians live here with me. Well, not *WITH me* with me, but in the same town. You know what I mean.
6. I never knew my parents. I don't even know if they're still alive. As far back as I can remember, I was raised by the Wicked Witch of the East--you know, the witch that was crushed by Dorothy's house? I may not like being compared to Dorothy, but I really am grateful to her for killing the witch. I know that sounds heartless, but when I say she "raised" me, what I really mean is, "I was her slave for more than twenty years". She made me do all of her cooking and cleaning, I had to do all the home repair jobs, tend to her animals, chop firewood, and so on. She abused me, verbally and physically. She's also the one responsible for turning Nick and Captain Fyter into tin. I'm glad she's dead.
7. After the witch died I moved out of her awful house, and I had my own house in the mountains, which my ex-husband and I built with our own hands. I miss my house sometimes, but I do like the freedom and advantages I have living in the USA--like my car, for example. I love my car! Besides, I know that my house will always be waiting for me when and if I ever want to go back to it. Nick wants me to live in his tin palace in the Winkie Country, but I could never live in a palace. I'm NOT the princess type. I just know I'd go crazy trying to keep all that tin free from smudges and fingerprints.
8. Don't spread this around, but I've practiced a bit of magic in my time. When you grow up in a witch's house, you pick up a few things...in my case, that's a literal statement. When I moved out from the witch's house, I took some of her spells and potions with me, and after Dorothy left Munchkinland, I dug underneath her collapsed house and managed to get the witch's broomstick. After Princess Ozma came to power, she made practicing magic illegal except for a few people of her own choosing, but I was living in seclusion with my husband in the mountains at that time, and I didn't know. When I moved to the United States I took all my magic things with me. There's no law against using magic in the USA, because very few people will believe that it even exists. The only thing you need to be careful of is offending some other, more powerful magic user, and playing by the Sorcerer Supreme's rules, and that sort of thing. That's no trouble for me, because I don't *cause* trouble. I think magic is very handy sometimes, but there's no sense in using it if it's for something you can do yourself, with your own strength and ingenuity. And I still haven't got the hang of using that stupid broomstick. My car is much, much better.
9. In Oz, we don't use money (we basically have a "from each according to his ability, to each according to his need" kind of economy), so it was kind of a hard adjustment once Nick and I moved to the outside countries, and we both had to find work and earn some money just in order to keep a roof over our heads. Property's not free in the outer countries, and you can't just build a house wherever you like. You can't even get the resources to build that house in the first place! The outside countries are crazy. Nick's a carpenter as well as a wood cutter, so he had no trouble finding work, but I wasn't about to labor away for some random person I barely know and fake a smile all day. Nick was kind enough to lend me some money and I got myself a small plot of land, and I run my own garden and a small orchard. I sell the produce at Medfield's farmer's market. Nick says I don't have to pay him back (he still gets stuck in the old "gift economy" way of thinking sometimes, but I suppose that's just because he's so sweet), but believe me, I'm saving up and he'll get that money back.
10. Hm. I think I covered everything that I wanted to say, but I still need to put in one more fact. Uh. Let's see. What else is there about me that you people can know...oh, okay, I know. My favorite color is blue. I suppose that's rather obvious for a Munchkin woman, but there you have it. Almost all my clothes are blue, and my car is blue...I wish my eyes were blue, but I can't afford one of those fancy Emerald City eye dying jobs. They look really fake anyway...you can TOTALLY tell when somebody's had their eyes done. I'm told that here in the outside countries, they have these things called "contact lenses" that you can wear on your eyes, and some of them are made to change your eye's color. I think that's just crazy! THE OUTSIDE COUNTRIES ARE CRAZY.
Tagged by LilyVampWolf