EMERGENCY ALERT SYSTEM
PLEASE STAND BY
THE EMERGENCY ALERT SYSTEM (EAS)
HAS ISSUED A NUCLEAR STRIKE WARNING
FROM THE FEDERAL EMERGENCY
MANAGEMENT AGENCY (FEMA)
PLEASE LISTEN CAREFULLY
AND FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS
NUCLEAR MISSILES ARE HEADED
TOWARD THE FOLLOWING CITIES:
WASHINGTON, D.C., NEW YORK CITY,
CHICAGO, LOS ANGELES, SAN FRANCISCO,
DALLAS-FORT WORTH, MIAMI, PHILADELPHIA,
HOUSTON, LAS VEGAS, SALT LAKE CITY,
AND DENVER
A LIST OF THINGS YOU SHOULD DO:
GO OUTSIDE TO ENJOY THE FIREWORKS
WEAR SUNGLASSES TO PROTECT YOUR EYES
PUT ON SUNSCREEN TO PROTECT YOUR SKIN
USE UMBRELLA TO PROTECT FROM FALLOUT
DRINK PLENTY OF WATER TO STAY HYDRATED
USE RADIO TO LISTEN TO MUSIC AND PARTY
TAKE SELFIES AND POST TO SOCIAL MEDIA
IF YOU GET THESE SYMPTOM
SEE THE NEAREST DOCTOR:
NAUSEA, VOMITING, DIARRHEA,
HEADACHE, FEVER, DIZZINESS,
DISORIENTATION, WEAKNESS,
FATIGUE, HAIR LOSS,
AND LOW BLOOD PRESSURE
ONCE THE PARTY STOPS
YOU WILL REALIZE THIS:
FIRES BURN EVERYWHERE
EVERYTHING IS DESTROYED
YOUR POWER GRID IS GONE
YOU ARE DRY AND THIRSTY
YOU ARE HUNGRY AND SICK
YOUR AGRICULTURE IS DONE
YOUR ECONOMY HAS COLLAPSED
YOUR INFRASTRUCTURE IS RUINED
LAWLESSNESS HAS DESCENDED
IT IS A FIGHT FOR SURVIVAL
YOUR COUNTRY IS FINISHED
YOUR LIFE IS A NIGHTMARE
YOU ENVY THE DEAD
ISAIAH 47:11
DISASTER WILL OVERTAKE YOU;
YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO AVERT IT.
DESTRUCTION WILL FALL ON YOU;
YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO STOP IT.
CALAMITY WILL STRIKE YOU SUDDENLY,
BEFORE YOU RECOGNIZE IT.
